I awoke this morning to yet again become aware that I am still the person who I was yesterday with roughly the same life. The same body, the same ruminating neuroses, the same seemingly obstructive physical self that I find my energies confined to.
It may only be me but I find this physical existence really laborious and limiting. That’s not to say I do not have wonder, love and excitement in my life, it’s just to say these feelings are channeled largely through my five senses which generally only relay to me the ‘ parts of the whole’.
I have spent time meditating and following my spiritual path as I see it and have been rewarded with numinous experiences which are near impossible to explain using everyday language.
I find that I straddle two worlds, one spiritually energetic and one enclosed and physical. I seem to oscillate between the two mostly, grounding helps to stop me becoming completely disorientated and confused by my cognitive duality.
Waxing lyrical, it could possibly because I am as an energy not fully integrated into my body. Whether by accident or design I am aligned differently to many others who seem to go blindly through their lives with no thought for anything other than meeting their human needs.
Seemingly I have strong empathic tendencies and I suspect one gives rise to the other. It would also explain why I have never felt that I fit in with society and the ‘ human’ world. Perhaps there is part of my energetic self that recalls my oneness with nature and the Universe, the feelings of peace, love and completeness often feel a hairs breadth away. Just out of sight, beyond the veil created by my physical self.