“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
I thought I would share this here from my other, rather more candid blog. I hope that nobody minds as it is a little different to my ususl style.
I have not written for a while as life has been rather turbulent. My perspective and understanding of life etc has always been different to most people that I know. Being empathic, having a strong sense of spirituality as well as the odd mystical experience seems to separate me from my peers. Anyone that I have ever spoken to about such things either change the topic rapidly or listen but with a slightly wary look which inevitably means ” Paul’s a nice bloke but he is truly out of his box”. Sometimes others can look rather fearful as if at any moment my head would turn 360 degrees and would start to vomit bright green fluid from my mouth.
I have often wondered about my sanity. Thankfully I discovered a gentleman by the name of Carl Gustav Jung, a renowned psychiatrist. I was surprised to discover that this man had much the same take on life as myself and therefore was the first person that I felt I resonated with ( unfortunately he died many years ago but his testament lives on).
I have also been diagnosed as having a mood disorder which I have had since I was twenty years old on and off. I agree that I probably have but where it stems from I’m not so sure. After all living one’s life with a completely different ethos and understanding to the vast majority of society takes its toll over the years.
Moving to this present moment, I am in a little conundrum. I am off work while my medication is being changed as I had a little relapse.
So, I’m sitting outside the other night looking at the pitch black sky and the stars, feeling quite chilled. When what I can only describe as some sort of spiritual download occurred. My head jerked gently back upon each apparent transfer of energy. My wife also informs me that my right hand was spasming too. I thought it only lasted a minute or so but she states that I was like that for at least 15 minutes. Once it had stopped I seemed to return to normal. However my concentration is now shot away, my body feels different and my sensory organs have taken on an attunement of sorts.
So I am left with the question as to whom shall I talk to this about?
My doctor – she may simply think that I have finally gone over the edge and alter my prescription. Plus I am not sure that I could endure the feeling of disbelief I pick up from those who don’t understand.
My peers- again very similar to the above.
A Spiritual Advisor- despite being quite spiritual myself I find a lot of these people to be charlatans or have deluded themselves into believing they have a gift.
So my friends I am stuck yet again. Thank you for reading thus far, being able to express myself via a blog I think helps. ♥️
” As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know”.
– Carl Jung.