A Letter to the Wounded 

For most of us there will times in our lives that are difficult or hurtful in some way. 

We may, for instance, have lost a loved one, be diagnosed with a serious illness, be painfully lonely and lost. 

Our reactions to these events will to some extent be dependent on our individual strengths and resources. 

Many people will become somewhat depressed / anxious due to the radical change in their circumstances. It is not unusual to have this adjustment reaction. 

However, for many it can be severe and prolonged causing intense emotional pain and giving rise to physical and psychological symptoms. 

We can become trapped in our own mental prison, in a constant cycle of negative and self depreciative thoughts which self perpetuate. 

This mindset can colour all that we perceive around us. 

We can feel helpless, weak and vulnerable to any intrusion from the outside world which is why many hide themselves away, both physically and emotionally. 

The future may seem bleak and intimidating , the present moment may be filled with fear and dread.

At our lowest ebb, it seems life becomes a living, dark nightmare from which escape is impossible. 

We lose perspective and forget what life can hold for us 
Did you forget the radiant sunrise at the dawn of the day? 

Did you forget the gleeful looks of your loved ones when you entered the room?

Did you forget the powerful roar of ocean waves as they are thrown ashore? 

Did you forget Nature’s seasonal masterpieces?

The crystal like frost of Winter, 

The gentle awakening and resurrection of the flora and fauna in Springtime. 

The warm Summer sun giving rise to the fruition of Gaia herself as she manifests at her zenith.

The subtle encroachment of Autumn as the leaves colours become almost iridescent and the cool, damp chill of the morning air.
No matter how wounded we are we can still experience the wonders of our world. 

We can still get excited about an impending celebration. 

We can still stare in awe at the Moon in the pitch black night sky. 

We can still cherish the love of other humans and animals.

We can still discover new and life changing experiences providing we are open to them.

By their very nature wounds heal. 

It may take time depending on the severity but it will. 

The deeper wounds may leave scars.

Scarred skin is more resilient and tougher than skin that has not been wounded.
So if you are sitting there in your darkest night of your soul, unable to see the way forward. 

Rest assured that if you have patience and give yourself the opportunity, this time will pass.

You will learn from this experience as your life begins to improve. 

For if ever it happens again, you will know that you can again triumph and win your life back.

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As One…………. 

I believe numinous and spiritual experience are ever present around us, it simply takes for our perception to be open to it. However most of us go though life largely unaware of the truly exquisite magical nature of our world around us. As empathic / spiritual individuals I feel we are more open to a kind of energetic intimacy which is vastly more profound and sensual.

It may be in form of a spectacular view,  a feeling of oneness with nature or some other occurrence that we intrinsically recognise as something ‘other’ than our more frequent day to day perception. 

And on rare occasions it appears it can be interpersonal :

I hardly know you but when I think of you or if I am graced enough to be in your presence something extraordinary happens to me.  My spirit is given flight, all my senses are heightened seemingly to ensure that in no way  I miss any aspect of your divine self. I bathe in your gaze and become lost deep in your eyes. Any self control I have, has withered away as I respond to your every word and gesture.

To others it would appear to be an intimate friendship but when we are together we are as one, intrinsically in synchronicity in our interaction. The content and context of our verbal and non verbal responses are immaterial, they simply serve the purpose of allowing us to subtly and with pure, intense sensuality mingle our individual energies. Consummating our union with every word, touch and exchange of eye contact. Any sense of time is lost as this is beyond physicality, this is the realm of the eternal soul. There is no beginning neither no end, only this moment for eternity.

Anyone watching would see I was lost to you, like prey willingly hypnotised by an enigmatic predator. As a sailor must have been drawn to his personal death by the seductive call of the mermaid, I too wish to answer my heart and souls call to be as one with you. Even if it meant that I was never to find myself again it would be  small loss to be a part of you, always.

When Opposites Attract 

During my youth I veritably skipped and danced through life. Full of optimism, convinced of my immortality, naive in the belief that whatever the world threw at me I had the energy and resources to overcome. 

My relationships with the opposite sex were mostly brief, friendly and lovingly amicable as I tested the waters of adulthood. I was blissfully unaware of how complicated and detrimental however these could become. 

I was also not aware of my empathic inclination. I assumed that everyone experienced the world as I did. That the almost painfully exquisite depths of my  emotions and senses were shared by all. 

Which is why I when we first met I took our mutual attraction at face value. 

On reflection, it was a completely unconscious connection on both our parts. I had what seemed to be an inexhaustible supply of love and compassion, almost too much for my heart and soul to comfortably contain. I had a natural urge to lavish these feelings on those that were close to me. 

I mistook your comparable intensity of emotions for me as love. 

Despite my then belief,  that the powerful, almost uncontrollable magnetic attraction between us was a sign of a truly symbiotic union. Ironically the opposite was true. 
My depths of love was met with your paucity. 

My compassion was met with self indulgence. 

My emotional energy was met with a veritable vacuum which you needed me to fill. 

My unconditionality was met with control. 

That was the attraction. 

I had so much to give and your need was endless . 

Perversely, without knowing, your need provided an outlet for me to indulge and express my natural urge to divest my deep feelings. You were were an infinite canvas on which I could paint every faint tint or luxurious tone of my emotional self. 

But all our resources are finite despite our assumptions. 

Following the inevitable demise of our time together, I now understand our attraction. 

Essentially I was the rescuer and you had the most need to be rescued. You needed rescuing from yourself, from the soul destroying ache of being alone and feeling unloved. 

You had sought all your life to silence the pain left in you as a child but you could only ever manage temporary relief.

I fear the spectre of that loss of part of your life will haunt your life forever. 

But I realise now that my sacrifices could never have been enough. If I had remained, I would have been guilty of my own emotional manslaughter.