It’s Not You, It’s Me……….?

Society largely considers what is normal by the agreed consensus of the majority. If I was in complete agreement with this then most of my communication in the outside world would consist of the phrase under which this is written. 

Indeed being empathic ( energetically sensitive) I feel that many of us find growing up and maturing in the outside world something of a unique challenge. 

At an early age we may discover that we are different from our peers and often our parents. 

The constant emphasis when at school and by others on the physical, percievable, allegedly concrete world felt as if most people only lived in a 2D reality. Their world seemed to have little depth, a linear monologue of an existence. 

My awareness of my sensitivity and my spiritual path are inextricably entwined. Indeed being energetically sensitive has helped create a somewhat unique spirituality in me that is reflected in many aspects of other belief systems ( that is Buddhism, Hinduism, Pantheism and Taoism to name a few). 

Through many conversations that I have had with others with similar experiences it seems we have much in common when it comes to living our lives and the challenges we face. For example, having been born into a society which operates on a model that is the antithesis of what we feel to be right.  This can lead to :

  – subsequent feelings of loneliness and alienation which may lead to social withdrawal, addictive behaviors ( in order to numb our sensitivity) or wearing a socially acceptable mask in order to fit in. 

If we do this however we compromise our ability to individuate and fully bloom into complete self actualization.  This may leave us feeling unfulfilled and frustrated. 

  – having to constantly assert our needs to others as most people presume that our needs must be similar to theirs ( in terms of space, down time, opportunity to be creative etc) 

  – finding oneself in constant conflict with others and institutions that prioritize materialism and egotism

  – having the desire for honest, open, loving human contact but mostly having to compromise due to the apparent lack of individuals who are unable to form relationships that do not involve some degree of attachment and / or dependence. 

 

Despite the difficulties encountered on my path and the many years spent in a spiritual wilderness, it has all been worth it. For every challenge I have faced has shaped me and furthered my understanding of the world in which we live. 

The ability to experience the external and internal worlds in such a searing depth and excruciating beauty has led to a true appreciation of lifes pulchritude. 

Any solace that I have needed has come largely from my inner self and has not been found in relationships within my social circle. For those that have found some with others, you are truly fortunate. 

So if over the years, you yourself have been your main source of solace, rest assured. 

To have retained your authenticity and to still be here is testament to your inner strength and tenacity.

An Infinite Journey…….?

​An Infinite Journey…………? 
It’s funny how life turns out sometimes. 

If someone had said to me many years ago that I had empathic tendencies and these tendencies would greatly effect my life and who I would become, I probably would not have believed them.  I understood however that I was different. I couldn’t understand why people behaved in certain ways or why they made the choices that they did. 

There was literally no one that I could relate to on a personal level. Not that it made me unhappy, I just decided to go my own merry little way. 

So after many years, many mistakes, wrong turnings and uninformed choices later, all has become somewhat clearer.

I am drawn to heal. 

Be it people, animals or places. People with unresolved issues or are in some emotional pain always manage to catch my eye. They may be individuals who I have never met before but who seem to communicate their distress with the briefest of eye contact. Or others who, either consciously or unconsciously seek my acquaintance in order to enlist me at a later stage in our relationship. 

Before I was aware of my ‘ sensitivity’, I would simply automatically do the necessary ‘ rescuing’, much to my regret. For many who seemed to need rescuing were not looking to be so. They simply needed me to fill a gaping emotional hole in themselves. I was simply a tourniquet to be used to dampen their pain and chronic sense of loss. 

Also houses and certain places also drew me to them. Or more accurately, I was drawn to them. When I look back now to many places I have lived, it seems obvious that had a rather ‘ haunted’ feel. 

Also here there seemed to be unresolved business but not of this time. 

There were feelings of darkness, poltergeist activity, entities continually reliving past actions and visions of people and actions past. 

It’s only over recent years that I have come to understand the link. 

I find that for me there is no implicit definition of my abilities. I have a sprinkling of other ‘clairs’  too of varying degrees. 

Despite all the difficulties I have experienced because of my sensitivities, I am truly grateful for their presence as they have me to develop personally and spiritually in a way I could not have imagined all those years ago. 

However that only seems to be part of the journey. Still now I find that I discover other tendencies that I have or somehow developed. 

I pick up on other people’s emotions and frequently they are amplified within my self. If they are miserable, I’ll feel devastated. If someone is angry, I will feel furious. 

For instance, I was having a quiet beer in my local bar doing a little people watching. In walked two well built, muscular men who had had a little too much alcohol. I could tell instantly that they were looking for some target to rough up a little. Their gaze fell on me. For some reason I felt their anger ( I was unsure as to why they were so, it turned out they were soldiers back from a tour of duty). 

It felt as if I somehow channelled their anger, increased it and ( very out of character for me) held their eye contact in an intense and challenging manner. 

They then turned their attention elsewhere. 

This was done completely automatically without a conscious thought from myself. 

Also there appear to be occasional glimpses into other realms or sometimes a mix of realities occurs. Usually I will be somewhere and get a strong feeling or a picture in my head of how things looked in the past. Of people and activities long gone. Things that I thought to have been illusions I feel have reflected other realities. 

I prefer the phrase ‘ energetically sensitive’ to describe my human traits. After all quantum physics has proven that all is energy and there is no real ‘ hard’ reality in terms of form. 

Ancient cultures have also identified this to be true in varying guises i.e.  Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism for instance. 

So let the journey of life continue for who knows, in a world of infinite possibilities what lies around the corner.

Belerion, Cornovia.

I feel that I have arrived at last in the land of my ancestors. 

The moors, valleys, rocky tors and the eternal voice of the ocean in the background seemed to welcome me back to where my heart and soul truly belonged. 

The landscape wholly rendiscent of a past life I had lived. A life that still seems a hairs breadth away, that is so near to the surface of my consciousness that I could so easily become overwhelmed with reverie. 

Yet I had never before set foot on this land. 

A land woven with myth, magic and majesty intrinsic and inseparable from its landscape. 

A place of groves, stone circles, fogou’s, holy wells , castles, standing stones, ancient settlements and hillforts. Many untouched by man due to the uncompromising nature of its granite hewn soil. 

Though many have sought through research and study to understand the purposes and possible relationships of the myriad of archaeological sites, it remains enigmatic. 

However therein lies the answer. 

Man had a very different interpretation of the world around us in those ancient times. 

The cold, analytical thought patterns borne of the ‘Enlightenment’ and furthered even more by science were still thousands of years away in the future. 

Man was still inextricably connected to Nature. He never saw himself as apart from the world, he was at one with the Earth, skies and stars. A natural and organic reverence for the Universe was an implicit aspect of life. 

A land so old it still reflects the archetypes and legends of primeval man.

Of Gods and Goddesses, of mermaids and piskies. 

Of giants, lost civilisations and alleged visits by the Devil himself. 

One of the keys that may lend to an understanding of this land is clairsentience. 

The feeling of being a small part a unique jigsaw. 

Of fitting in seamlessly with one’s surroundings unlike nowhere I have known before. 

The gnarled granite hills, many crowned with rudimentary fortifications. 

The overgrown aisles of black thorn and hawthorn bushes hiding away groves of healing springs. 

The dark but somehow luminescent fogous, a chamber for intimate communion with Gaia herself.

Stone circles stand testament to the passage of time, still retaining a mystical essence of primeval magic rituals. 

The roar of the ocean as its tempestuous waves throw themselves in anguish against the rocky cliffs. 

Any type of human interpretation is destined to be flawed. 

This is a place to sensuously feel the raw energy of Nature, to become immersed in it. To feel the essential oneness of all creation.

My lungs full of air drawn from the same high breeze that billows around me.

My blood, sweat and tears formed from the same crashing waves thrown upon the beach.

My bones created from the very substance of the earth. 

The fire in my heart borne from the searing sunlight bathing my presence. 

All of my human and spiritual aspects of self are reflected here in the outside world. I do not need to search for meaning or inspiration for I am home. 

Where the pains and joys of birth, life and death are a divine, ethereal journey in themselves.

An Enchanted Life

A life for an energetically sensitive individual is unique. Once we come to understand ourselves and the world around us, it can imbue in us a natural spirituality. A spirituality that requires no adherence to any particular path.

Of course some of us will lean more to some religious / spiritual path depending on our upbringing, our life experience or because of a simple heartfelt resonance with a particular ethos. 

I myself find resonance with aspects of Taoism, Pantheism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Wicca and Shamanism. 

Psychologically and philosophically I resonate with Carl Jung, Neitsche, Schopenhauer, Fritjof Capra and quantum physics. 
Having a degree of energetic sensitivity can, quite simply give us the ability to see and feel the magic in life. To be able to sense certain things that are largely outside the perception of many others.

  – Standing on the cliffs above the storm racked ocean, watching the relentless waves crashing on the rocks as they have done for eternity. The wind whisking away my breath as it blows fiercely around me. Although I am only a small part of all that is, I feel as if I have been and always will be united at my core to Nature. I am partly of the sea and the sea is inextricably part of me, as is all of existence. 

  – The Sun setting over the horizon, the sky emblazoned with iridescent hues of gold, amber and vermillion. Casting scarlet shadows over the landscape as the remains of the day are seemingly burnt away in one last funereal fire. 

  – The secret, hidden groves within the forests and the woods. Where the trees seem to have always stood sentinel, guarding the covert magic of Gaia. Those places that I know intuitively were home to earth spirits before the birth of Man. I can sense the almost invisible specks of light as they would dance around amongst the trees and foliage gleefully carrying out their individual tasks for Mother Nature. 

  – The chance meeting with someone whom I have always felt a indefinable but irresistible attraction to. Their very presence altering my energy levels, feelings of an almost dizzying excitement and heightened awareness wash over me unbidden. 

I am aware of their every movement and every slight intonation in their soft voice. I can see that they are speaking but I hear no words. 

We sit, responding in a perfectly effortless, synchronatic, almost unconscious manner. It’s as if a warm, invisible but impenetrable cloak of love surrounds us.

When our eyes meet briefly or our fingers brush tentatively against each others, my heart seems to stop and I miss a breath. It is as if I am standing above a yawning cavern of love into which I feel I must plunge and we may be as one forever. 
These moments I cherish as they have given a depth to my life I would never have known in such a beautifully graphic intensity.

Nuntius ab Gaia

The pale early morning sunlight shone through the Autumnal foliage creating an almost psychedelic kaleidoscope of colours. It was as if the the park had been decorated with garlands and intricate tapestries of gold, sepia and vermillion. 

I followed the path which led between two parallel rows of trees forming a kind of natural aisle before me.

Passing through, time seemed to slow and take on a different texture 
I walked as if in slow motion.

Each step taken along the footpath was met with a gentle fall of scarlet and amber leaves from the branches above.

The daylight around me seemed to intensify making everything within my field of vision exquisitely defined.

My senses too became acutely aware of every nuance of the world around me. 
Numerous, minute seed particles floating gently in front of me, glinting in the sunlight like constellations of stars.

The chill, fresh morning air pressing  against my face, cooling my skin.

The damp, earthy smell of the soil as its carpet of foliage slowly turns to mulch.

The barely audible breath of the wind whispering a message from Gaia to my soul –
” Do you remember when we were young, you and I? 

The days and hours we spent together in loving intimacy.

Both honouring our individuality yet knowing we are essentially one and the same.

I brought you into this world, made from my essence. 

And you will return to me again, reunited in death.

My love for you is unconditional.

You are , after all my child.

I would ask of you one thing before it is too late. 

That you remember what we had before we became distant from each other. Before you decided to go your own way”.

 

“We still have the opportunity to begin again, to relive past joys and create a renewed bond between us. One that will satisfy both of our desperate desires for eternal unity. Of a sense of oneness, of finally coming home.

After all, it was not me who changed, it was you.

There is no blame though. You needed to see how life could be.

But now I feel it is time for you to return to me for both our sakes. 

For if you do not, I fear we will be lost to each other forever”.
I sat, somewhat disorientated on a park bench.

The message was clear, Although no actual words had been said, the message was clear and unambiguous.

Unless we collectively take heed of our actions as a species, both we and our beloved planet are destined to never be reconciled. Our loss will be greater as she can continue without us,but we cannot without her.

Genius Loci…………?

I began my trek to my destination. Heavy, grey clouds were gathering overhead as if to accentuate the importance of my visit by preventing the rays of sunlight detracting from my purpose. Through muddy fields and over rickety stiles I walked, the only hint that this path had been used for hundreds of years being a well worn path and the sense of joining the spirits of the many others who had also took part in the short journey from the small village over the millennia. 
Soon the route ( as is often the case when visiting ancient sacred sites) narrows and I am surrounded on either side by overhanging bushes and tree branches creating a natural aisle for reverential processions to proceed. Light birdsong and the soft, gentle trickling of water are the only sounds to be heard, creating a kind of Natures choir as I move closer to my goal .

The path widens a little but I am still enclosed in the seemingly welcoming and protective undergrowth flourishing around the well, as if to provide privacy and promote a secular spiritual intimacy to the occasion. 
The Cloutie tree in front of the well is festooned with colourful adornments, mostly ragged pieces of cloth left by visitors who await their degradation in order to relieve whatsoever malaise afflicts them. I can almost hear silent and sometime desperate prayers from those who have sought relief here. Many, many tears over the years have fallen from many cheeks upon this spot, their sorrow and entreaties forever mixed with the sparkling translucent waters of the spring. 
Direct access to the well is seemingly complicated by a mixture of deep bog and gnarled branches as if put there to deter only the most determined soul. 

Following the spring water further alongside the path, the stream enters a roofless ancient chapel. It’s grey corbelled walls forming a rough square with an entrance from the north. On entering the chapel I can feel the reverence and the sanctity that the site has been endowed with over the years. The barely tangible energies of the souls of previous supplicants frequent here, forever paying homage to this most holy of Nature’s shrines. The lack of a roof means anyone knelt in prayer in front of the altar offers up their beseechments and adoration to the blossoming flora and the barely visible sky amongst the treetops. As I stand, head bowed in front of the rough hewn granite altar littered with offerings of flowers and coins, I hear the soft, gentle waters of the spring empty into a crude font behind me. This accentuates further the feelings of ambience and serenity that epitomises my visit. 

Kneeling in supplication in front of the altar it seems apparent that the stone and earth beneath me have witnessed much worship here, mostly to Mother Nature in her various guises as the sanctum has almost become as one with the scrub of the grove. An overwhelming sense of peace and oneness with nature penetrates my core, merging seamlessly with my physical self. If this were to become my final resting place, this sancta of Gaia, there would no need for belief in an afterlife or thought to what happens at life’s end. For I am sure I would rest blissfully for eternity in this very spot.

Spiritual Epiphany………?

I have always considered myself a spiritual type of person, mainly through my life experiences and that I have strong empathic traits. The empath in me allows me to sense energies on various levels of which most do not appear to understand. 

I had been trudging along with life generally doing a little meditation now and again, being as authentic to myself as I could allow, reading a little of Eastern spirituality and quantum physics. Suddenly I found myself at what felt like I was standing over a dizzying perceptual precipice. 

It was the perfect Autumn afternoon, my children were playing excitedly in the local park. Their innocent laughter as they played amongst the fallen leaves , squirrels chasing each other around the trees, the ‘ earthy ‘ smell of the air combined with the Sun casting a warm golden hue to the already golden foliage. 

I completely lost my sense of self, I was no longer consciously bound within my physicality. I briefly became as one with nature and the Universe as a whole, a pure state of bliss where there was no division simply one fluid consciousness, no beginning, no end.

I have had similar experiences before and after but none so powerful. This episode fast forwarded my spiritual growth and helped me relate to life in a more balanced and egoless manner. 

And for that I am truly grateful ❤ 

On Empathic Alchemy……?

On Empathic Alchemy……?

( or how being empathic can lead to an awareness of spiritual unity)
There are many positives to being empathic e. g. a more sensual awareness of Nature, an ability to read people more effectively etc. However if we are to benefit from these abilities and use them for the common good many of us need to harness and in some way take control of the dark side. This dark side is often the first sign an individual has empathic traits as it can manifest itself in substantial distress to the person involved.

On less grounded days I will find myself again drawn into the psychological and emotional maelstrom of raw, uncontrolled, uncontainable empathy.

It seems especially testing lately, the increase in hate crime in the UK, the race issues in America, the huge loss of life of those victims of terrorist attacks leads me to feel great sorrow.

I have tried to ‘ objectively’ to observe what happens within me when I get these feelings in a hope of not getting completely overwhelmed by the concurrent emotions.

I will get an emotional reaction if I hear such news on the radio but much more so if I see televised footage of the actual incident. The physical feelings of anxiety and complete distress undergone by those victims seem transferred to me, I feel the need to vomit, my throat constricts, my stomach knots, it feels as if the emotional centres of my heart and chest are tore open. I seemingly start to hemorrhage emotional energy and become quickly drained of feelings resulting in a kind of agitated lethargy. At other times I will have a virtually unstoppable urge to put right that what is painful and upsetting to others. I am ready to go to war against what or whosoever is the perpetrator of others pain, to the point of sacrificing my life in order to save others having to be subject to distress.

Fortunately the vast majority of the time I can ground myself or drag myself back to a more realistic appraisal of the situation.

I appreciate that the pain I feel possibly would not be so great as those individuals however it seems that with empathy comes an incisive and acute awareness that we are all linked at some level. That when one person or animal hurts, that we can feel their pain, that we feel mobilised to act on their behalf.

For all those struggling empaths and healers out there, hold on in there. It is, as is everything in life, a process. We often rise again like a phoenix from the ashes of our former selves. However we may become burnt in the process.

Lest We Forget……..

Summer and Winter solstices, Imbolc, Beltane, full and new moons et al all serve to point us to an awareness of the cycles of Nature of which we are inextricably linked. They provide mutually recognised events where we can feel more intensely our interconnectedness with the whole universe, events that have been part of our human history over the millennia.
Often at these times the focus of our awareness is very much outside of ourselves, we become even more sensually sensitive to the ebb and flow of the seasons, the ever changing energy of the cosmos manifesting in a more profound and discernable manner.
However, wherever we are, whatever time of day, whatever month in whatever season the cycles of life continue. Every single moment of our lives can offer us the opportunity for us to be aware of the subtle, yet energetic dance of Nature.
Outside our windows, amongst the flora and fauna, we can observe more discernably how every single moment continously gives rise to many unique and never to repeated moments. Never again will that same snowflake fall, never again will the Sun and the wind combine to cast the same cloud shadows across the fields, never again will a flock of rooks swoop and caw in the same way again whether witnessed or not.
Human religions have their own way of defining and celebrating the miracles of life, but in Nature every second is a celebration, an acknowledgement of the fantastic and diverse interplay of the universe, a neverending and reverential Nativity play with an infinite array of actors and actresses.
From the shrill chorus of birdsong to the blossoming of the flowers and trees, we are, whether we allow ourselves or not to be aware, part of the eternal festival of Life

Nature as Teacher………?

I have always been an avid reader for many years and have learnt much through the medium of the written word. However I still find my greatest teacher and inspiration has been nature herself. Nowhere else can relay so much insight and understanding, not only through our base five senses but also on so many more levels. Certainly being empathic and having strong spiritual senses can lead us to feel the energetic potential of the natural world to a greater degree.
Nature provides us with education in all subjects :
– history, that every plant or animal now living has a genetic past leading back to the time of creation.
– biology, the procreative processes of all living things, their growth, their flourishing to their eventual demise as we all return to the Earth from where we sprang.
– physics and chemistry, the complex interactions between the forces of Nature on our flora and fauna, how the rain, wind and sea form our landscapes, the interconnectedness of life apparent as we witness every aspect of Nature effecting and integrating with one another.
– languages, the multifarious variety by which all living things communicate, plant life communicating with each other ( via fungal mycelium etc), the different calls of each and every animal.
The examples are endless but one of the main themes is that of the humanities. Nature herself has all the answers humans need to find their place in the world, she shows us that our family is all around us, trees, plants, animals and other humankind; all that now and ever has existed remain with us at a fundamental level. There is no true division of ourselves from anything else in our world as is proven on a quantum level. However we do not need to read quantum physics to know this. Nature exhibits this on every level providing we are open to her.