Genius Loci…………? 

I began my trek to my destination. Heavy, grey clouds were gathering overhead as if to accentuate the importance of my visit by preventing the rays of sunlight detracting from my purpose. Through muddy fields and over rickety stiles I walked, the only hint that this path had been used for hundreds of years being a well worn path and the sense of joining the spirits of the many others who had also took part in the short journey from the small village over the millennia. 
Soon the route ( as is often the case when visiting ancient sacred sites) narrows and I am surrounded on either side by overhanging bushes and tree branches creating a natural aisle for reverential processions to proceed. Light birdsong and the soft, gentle trickling of water are the only sounds to be heard, creating a kind of Natures choir as I move closer to my goal .

The path widens a little but I am still enclosed in the seemingly welcoming and protective undergrowth flourishing around the well, as if to provide privacy and promote a secular spiritual intimacy to the occasion. 
The Cloutie tree in front of the well is festooned with colourful adornments, mostly ragged pieces of cloth left by visitors who await their degradation in order to relieve whatsoever malaise afflicts them. I can almost hear silent and sometime desperate prayers from those who have sought relief here. Many, many tears over the years have fallen from many cheeks upon this spot, their sorrow and entreaties forever mixed with the sparkling translucent waters of the spring. 
Direct access to the well is seemingly complicated by a mixture of deep bog and gnarled branches as if put there to deter only the most determined soul. 

Following the spring water further alongside the path, the stream enters a roofless ancient chapel. It’s grey corbelled walls forming a rough square with an entrance from the north. On entering the chapel I can feel the reverence and the sanctity that the site has been endowed with over the years. The barely tangible energies of the souls of previous supplicants frequent here, forever paying homage to this most holy of Nature’s shrines. The lack of a roof means anyone knelt in prayer in front of the altar offers up their beseechments and adoration to the blossoming flora and the barely visible sky amongst the treetops. As I stand, head bowed in front of the rough hewn granite altar littered with offerings of flowers and coins, I hear the soft, gentle waters of the spring empty into a crude font behind me. This accentuates further the feelings of ambience and serenity that epitomises my visit. 

Kneeling in supplication in front of the altar it seems apparent that the stone and earth beneath me have witnessed much worship here, mostly to Mother Nature in her various guises as the sanctum has almost become as one with the scrub of the grove. An overwhelming sense of peace and oneness with nature penetrates my core, merging seamlessly with my physical self. If this were to become my final resting place, this sancta of Gaia, there would no need for belief in an afterlife or thought to what happens at life’s end. For I am sure I would rest blissfully for eternity in this very spot.

I Belong to the Night…… 

I stand upright staring at the Moon, thronged by millions of miniscule stars scattered amongst the deep, dark blue velvet of the night sky. A cool earthy breeze runs its fingers through my hair and caresses my bare skin. The cool dampness of the grass beneath my feet and the aroma of freshly rain soaked soil filling my lungs. All combine to return me to my mythic past, to a time when I knew myself only as an animal amongst other animals. Where my lair was made from Nature herself, where when I slept, I did so close to the Earth. As one with the world, there was no you or I, no out there or in here, no divisive thought to extricate me from being part of all that exists. 

 I stand, enveloped in the darkness,  my pupils dilated, my ears able perceive the slightest sound, the conscious awareness of the tension in my muscles and tendons. My pounding heart fuelled by adrenaline causing blood to rush through my body giving rise to my senses becoming increasingly heightened by the raw sensuality of the night. 

I ran. I ran because I could no longer quietly contain my sense of vitality and vigor. I ran to celebrate the joy of being, of being gifted with a worldly paradise of neverending beauty, of being allowed to partake of a life which has made me humble yet omnipotent. 

The branches and foliage seemingly claw my skin as I race through the woods serving only to intensify and sharpen my senses to an almost unbearable degree. In my mind I am running with the pack, feeding off the energy of exhilaration as I crash through the undergrowth ,my feet preturnaturally able to find purchase amongst the leaves and bushes. 

I sense the presence of blood on my lips where twigs have scored their mark, its metallic moist taste reminding me how the many channels of blood within me mirror the rivers in the land, how my flesh and bone had been given birth to by the elements of the Earth. 

Finally I collapse to the ground in a small clearing , my muscles pleasantly aching from the exertion, my heartbeat slowing to a dull pulse, my breathing steadying to a more restful rhythm. My exhilaration spent, I curl up on my side, moonlight glancing across my chest, I settle to rest in the warm and ever present bosom of Mother Nature.

Spiritual Epiphany………? 

I have always considered myself a spiritual type of person, mainly through my life experiences and that I have strong empathic traits. The empath in me allows me to sense energies on various levels of which most do not appear to understand. 

I had been trudging along with life generally doing a little meditation now and again, being as authentic to myself as I could allow, reading a little of Eastern spirituality and quantum physics. Suddenly I found myself at what felt like I was standing over a dizzying perceptual precipice. 

It was the perfect Autumn afternoon, my children were playing excitedly in the local park. Their innocent laughter as they played amongst the fallen leaves , squirrels chasing each other around the trees, the ‘ earthy ‘ smell of the air combined with the Sun casting a warm golden hue to the already golden foliage. 

I completely lost my sense of self, I was no longer consciously bound within my physicality. I briefly became as one with nature and the Universe as a whole, a pure state of bliss where there was no division simply one fluid consciousness, no beginning, no end.

I have had similar experiences before and after but none so powerful. This episode fast forwarded my spiritual growth and helped me relate to life in a more balanced and egoless manner. 

And for that I am truly grateful ❤ 

Two Worlds………..?

I awoke this morning to yet again become aware that I am still the person who I was yesterday with roughly the same life. The same body, the same ruminating neuroses, the same seemingly obstructive physical self that I find my energies confined to.
It may only be me but I find this physical existence really laborious and limiting. That’s not to say I do not have wonder, love and excitement in my life, it’s just to say these feelings are channeled largely through my five senses which generally only relay to me the ‘ parts of the whole’.

I have spent time meditating and following my spiritual path as I see it and have been rewarded with numinous experiences which are near impossible to explain using everyday language.
I find that I straddle two worlds, one spiritually energetic and one enclosed and physical. I seem to oscillate between the two mostly,  grounding helps to stop me becoming completely disorientated and confused by my cognitive duality.
Waxing lyrical, it could possibly because I am as an energy not fully integrated into my body. Whether by accident or design I am aligned differently to many others who seem to go blindly through their lives with no thought for anything other than meeting their human needs.

Seemingly I have strong empathic tendencies and I suspect one gives rise to the other. It would also explain why I have never felt that I fit in with society and the ‘ human’ world. Perhaps there is part of my energetic self that recalls my oneness with nature and the Universe, the feelings of peace, love and completeness often feel a hairs breadth away. Just out of sight, beyond the veil created by my physical self.

Thanks for the Winks 

It’s funny how life unfolds and how potential secrets become revealed. I can only ever estimate what my current beliefs and understanding of life have in relation to 

supposed ‘reality’. I suspect that fundamentally reality is different for each individual in a way described by Deepak Chopra in his book Life After Death. In that our perception of what seems to be happening outside of us is often conditioned by our experiences and beliefs. 
I have had a potential couple of insights this evening which kind of resonate with me but in a manner that I did not expect. 

Whenever I write, I seem to write in response to a need ‘somewhere’, it seems it is part of me but also not me if that makes any sense. I feel sometimes I write in response to a universally shared human soul. It almost feels ‘channelled’, as often I am really not sure where the motivation and the words come from. 
Secondly, I have often wondered why whenever I talk to people who seem to have an understanding of being empathic or being spiritual that it turns out that they actually have a very limited awareness of the depth of the issues. 

I have thought about the reason why I decided to open up to these individuals and I recall receiving an virtually imperceptible spiritual ‘wink’. It’s really difficult to describe but it is like an empathic energy exchange, usually by eye contact. They seem to have a warm, open hearted energy twinkling in their eyes. I have come to thinking that perhaps these are souls on a similar path but at a different stage of growth. It’s almost as if the universe has somehow ‘winked’ at me and said ‘you are not alone’ but the person involved seems to not really aware of the connection. I get many ‘winks’ from others in empath and spiritual groups, there are some friends from groups on the Internet I have made but never spoken to, whom I know are spiritually and energetically empathise with. They are the ones I can feel love, compassion and strength in their posts. 

I never pretend to have a monopoly on truth, I am simply a human having human experiences but it is good to share our perceptions as they can often help others along their path. Especially when as our path is often difficult and it is all to easy to fall to the wayside.

Stranger in a Strange Land 

On reflection, there has not been a day in my life when I have felt that I truly belong in my current existence. I have strong empathic traits ( so much so that when I have been emotionally close to someone I have developed their physiological anomalies, for example my spine developed a slight curvature) and a strong sense of spirituality. These may be part of the reason as to why I feel this way. 

As I grew up I did all the usual ‘growing up as a human’ type things, from an hedonistic youth to marriage and a family as well as a career. 

Despite this I have always felt living a human life was rather an effort, that my life was somehow a kind of ‘job’ I had to do. 

This has historically led to feelings of being lost and directionless in life, as if I had somehow been installed into my body and marooned on Earth. 
Today as I sit on my porch drinking coffee and smoking the occasional cigarette, I find myself again reflecting on my past, present and future. Everyone seems to be committed to their human life, seemingly comfortable with their existence as they ( to me) carry on apparently unconsciously in their day to day activities dictated by previously laid out neural pathways. I admit at times I am quite jealous as I seem 

unable to succumb to what appears to be a blind acceptance of their lives and fate. 

Even my body annoys me! I think it is because being empathic I sense the subtle energies in the world that can communicate on a gentle, sensual level of spirit whereas my physical senses seem clumsy limiting by comparison. I feel very much like a spiritual energy trapped in human form. 
However I do not feel at all sorry for myself. In the end I believe I have been given the gift of a degree of consciousness which has led to spiritual and emotional growth. I have accepted that I am different and embrace it, the good and the bad. 

The message is to anyone out there who feels they do not belong or feel isolated due to being seemingly different in some way, try to embrace your uniqueness, remain as authentic as you can be. I sense the world may need us to be the ones with clear vision, of balance, to be a neutralising agent against humanity’s frequent emotional pathology, if there is to be any peace and compassion now or in the future, we may well be an important part in ensuring that. 


On Empathic Alchemy……? 

On Empathic Alchemy……?

( or how being empathic can lead to an awareness of spiritual unity)
There are many positives to being empathic e. g. a more sensual awareness of Nature, an ability to read people more effectively etc. However if we are to benefit from these abilities and use them for the common good many of us need to harness and in some way take control of the dark side. This dark side is often the first sign an individual has empathic traits as it can manifest itself in substantial distress to the person involved.

On less grounded days I will find myself again drawn into the psychological and emotional maelstrom of raw, uncontrolled, uncontainable empathy.

It seems especially testing lately, the increase in hate crime in the UK, the race issues in America, the huge loss of life of those victims of terrorist attacks leads me to feel great sorrow.

I have tried to ‘ objectively’ to observe what happens within me when I get these feelings in a hope of not getting completely overwhelmed by the concurrent emotions.

I will get an emotional reaction if I hear such news on the radio but much more so if I see televised footage of the actual incident. The physical feelings of anxiety and complete distress undergone by those victims seem transferred to me, I feel the need to vomit, my throat constricts, my stomach knots, it feels as if the emotional centres of my heart and chest are tore open. I seemingly start to hemorrhage emotional energy and become quickly drained of feelings resulting in a kind of agitated lethargy. At other times I will have a virtually unstoppable urge to put right that what is painful and upsetting to others. I am ready to go to war against what or whosoever is the perpetrator of others pain, to the point of sacrificing my life in order to save others having to be subject to distress.

Fortunately the vast majority of the time I can ground myself or drag myself back to a more realistic appraisal of the situation.

I appreciate that the pain I feel possibly would not be so great as those individuals however it seems that with empathy comes an incisive and acute awareness that we are all linked at some level. That when one person or animal hurts, that we can feel their pain, that we feel mobilised to act on their behalf.

For all those struggling empaths and healers out there, hold on in there. It is, as is everything in life, a process. We often rise again like a phoenix from the ashes of our former selves. However we may become burnt in the process.

Lest We Forget……..

Summer and Winter solstices, Imbolc, Beltane, full and new moons et al all serve to point us to an awareness of the cycles of Nature of which we are inextricably linked. They provide mutually recognised events where we can feel more intensely our interconnectedness with the whole universe, events that have been part of our human history over the millennia.
Often at these times the focus of our awareness is very much outside of ourselves, we become even more sensually sensitive to the ebb and flow of the seasons, the ever changing energy of the cosmos manifesting in a more profound and discernable manner.
However, wherever we are, whatever time of day, whatever month in whatever season the cycles of life continue. Every single moment of our lives can offer us the opportunity for us to be aware of the subtle, yet energetic dance of Nature.
Outside our windows, amongst the flora and fauna, we can observe more discernably how every single moment continously gives rise to many unique and never to repeated moments. Never again will that same snowflake fall, never again will the Sun and the wind combine to cast the same cloud shadows across the fields, never again will a flock of rooks swoop and caw in the same way again whether witnessed or not.
Human religions have their own way of defining and celebrating the miracles of life, but in Nature every second is a celebration, an acknowledgement of the fantastic and diverse interplay of the universe, a neverending and reverential Nativity play with an infinite array of actors and actresses.
From the shrill chorus of birdsong to the blossoming of the flowers and trees, we are, whether we allow ourselves or not to be aware, part of the eternal festival of Life

Wake Up World…….!!

” Ultimately, deep ecological awareness is spiritual or religious awareness. When the concept of the human spirit is understood as the mode of consciousness in which the individual feels a sense of belonging, of connectedness, to the cosmos as a whole, it becomes clear that ecological awareness is spiritual in its deepest essence “,

From The Web of Life by Fritjof Capra.

One would of thought with our current scientific knowledge that there perhaps would be more emphasis on integration and understanding of conflicts between societies as well as society’s effects on nature.
From the knowledge that quantum physics has given us in relation to the fact that all life and the universe are all interconnected at its lowest level, to our understanding of ecosystems and general systems theory as a whole, one would expect some significant changes in political and social ideology.
As spiritual and empathic individuals, we did not need to study science or commit ourselves to research. We are preternaturally aware of the energetic links between ourselves and others. Some of us are for example clairsentient, clairvoyant or clairaudient.
I naturally appreciate it takes time for attitudes to change however I cannot help but on occasions become angry and upset when humanitarian crises happen due to political or religious idealism.  Also when animals are unnecessarily hunted or killed, even when trees and foliage are chopped down for simple cosmetic vanity.
Too much of society still adhere to the Cartesian and mechanistic viewpoint despite a huge degree of evidence to the contrary.
In the meantime I will continue to ground myself and do what I can in my small way to promote compassion and a real understanding of the issues.

As One………?



As a spiritually inclined empathic type of individual I at times am able to lose myself and seemingly energetically merge with my surroundings. No more so than when I amongst nature. However from an energetic perspective some places are far more powerful than others and these tend to be numinously charged. There are many places I have visited where I have been able to become absorbed into the quintessential unity of myself, the earth, the trees and the universe as a whole. When this happens, time too changes, the latent energies of humans and animals who have been here in the past entwine with my current energy to create a vibrant symphony of Oneness. My senses no longer individually feedback to me their unique perceptions, I become completely unified with all there is. Every rainstorm, every drought, every snowfall, every imprint of every moment here becomes as one with my memories.
Many of these sites are ancient places of worship, that is holy wells, stone circles and henges. The sensual power that individuals have left behind in their reverence and their alignment to nature and the Earth, their unique intimacy with the world and the cosmos is revealed to me and incorporated into my soul.

No wonder the hills and groves were God’s first temples, and the more they are cut down and hewn into cathedrals and churches, the farther off and dimmer seems the Lord himself. – John Muir.