It’s strange that it is more often when I am alone that I feel less lonely.
I am not being exposed to others physical, psychological and emotional energies which can send ripples through my limpid pool of self.
I’m not expected to become involved in socially constructed scenarios that have no true purpose other than to superficially acknowledge the existence of another.
I’m not susceptible to being overcome with the powerful feelings and needs of people around me. These, at times have led me to losing my sense of self and be drawn into their own dark night of the soul believing it to be mine also.
Sitting quietly at home I bathe in sensual silence.
As I look around, much of this life’s history surrounds me in the form of my pictures, photographs, music and books.
Each one carrying a distinct memory from the past. Of people and places, of related emotions too, both pleasant and not so pleasant. However, this menagerie of memories brings a feeling of peace and consolidates me in my humaness.
I draw comfort from my past and the lessons that I have learnt. From the realisation of the transient nature of reality as reflected in old photos of my family and places I have been.
From times I had thought that I was at my lowest ebb, when all that I could see in the future was an infinite spiral of despair.
It seems obvious to me now that our life, our existence is simply a process amongst processes, a wave in the ocean, a ripple in the sea of life.
Our human neurological processes however can fool us into thinking otherwise.
Our minds often dwell and fret due to our subjective experience of life. We get caught up with our programmed neuroses, worrying about the bills, our financial and emotional security. Our valuable time on Earth being spent mentally and physically scurrying around with the delusional idea that we can somehow insulate ourselves against the threat of change.
If we can find in our silent moments, either in some form of meditation or sometimes peaceful reflection we can find all the answers we need are within ourselves.
Although outwardly our individual paths may seem very different to each others, at the end of the day we are all gifted with the power to truly see.
The answer is inside of each and everyone of us. It’s not about chasing egoic ideas in the external world as if they were butterflies but about looking inwards on our experience and accepting it without judgement.
I feel life is a glorious gift to be relished, however, we are after all human. This will undoubtedly entail suffering in some manner but an accurate perspective can often ease our transition. Our unique answer is already within us waiting to be born.
individuator 