My Love

Mere words can only describe a fragment of my feelings for you and will then still fall pitifully short.
   Truly from the moment I saw you something moved within me.  Within your eyes there was so much pain and confusion yet a beautiful heart dwelt buried within. Even then, from the beginning I wanted to be with you and share your life, experiences, sadness and joy.
   Over the years we have spent together, through all the heartaches and those many exquisitely tender moments of love, closeness and intimacy we have grown.
   I am no longer a singular soul walking in this world for I now share my heart and soul with you. Without you my life would be barren and cold and I would forever wander in emptiness.
   Every minute of every day when we are together my whole being sings of my happiness and contentment of being as one with you.
   And so my love I look to our future with the knowledge that we shall always be together and that the wonderful treasure you have given me will always and forever remain.

Reverence

Did you know that the Moon was originally part of the Earth which was created when a meteorite hit our planet dislodging a large chunk of crust? How likely is that to have happened as that has led to the subsequent development of life on Earth.
   Did you know that every current living thing from the lowly ant, the plants in your garden, the birds in the air and ourselves have a unbroken family chain from the beginnings of life on our planet?
   Did you know that regarding quantum physics, the theory of quantum entanglement suggests when two pieces of matter ( ie photons) become entangled they remain connected even when separated by vast distances. What happens to one immediately effects the other.
   I often stand in awe of the world we have around us, it’s intricacy, grace and beauty. That for me is the basis of spirituality. The interconnectedness of all life and the Universe and it’s co dependence. Which is why my soul mourns the damage done to our planet by human greed: wildfires, ecosystem collapse, wars and the extinction of species.
  I hope in my heart that in some way we can turn this all around and learn to love our planet and all that lives upon it. ​

Starting Over…..

I am now able to seemingly restart my blogging.
I used to enjoy blogging however around five years ago I developed myalgic encephalitis ( CFS) which has led to me losing my career and put a stop to much of my creativity.
The symptoms are multi systemic and often dynamic in there presentation. This means it effects many functions of my body and mind as well as I can be severely compromised physically and mentally.
It also can improve at times to the point of feeling almost normal again which makes life difficult to plan.
Symptoms include poor concentration, inability to recall or actively engage in most activities, extreme fatigue which means even the simplest of tasks are too demanding to complete. Also their is generalised muscle weakness and pain.
It’s effects on the autonomic nervous system can also be profound. It can cause anxiety and depression as well as put you in fight or flight mode which mimic psychiatric symptoms.
I offer these facts by way of explanation of my situation and also that when I am feeling improved I feel that despite the debilitating effects of this illness I have learnt lessons in terms of spirituality, growth, individuation and psychology.
I would therefore like to share my journey with you and hopefully you can benefit in some way from what I feel I have learned.
Namaste.
Paul

As One……….

The chill November morning air washes over me as I greet the day sitting on my porch. A grey, rain laden sky hangs heavily overhead. A playful flock of house sparrows dive into the leafless overgrown bushes, a solitary robin perches on a twig overseeing the garden as if a self proclaimed custodian. A stiff […]

As One……….

To The Warriors…..

A toast offered to those silent warriors in this world ( you know who you are) whose every action is a considered one. Those bodhisattva like individuals who seemingly exist for the sole purpose for the furtherment of other souls. For they see the bigger picture. The impermanence of life and yet the interconnectedness of […]

To The Warriors…..

‘Tis…….

‘Tis those whom have suffered much dishonesty that truly appreciate honesty,‘Tis those whom have suffered much hate that truly appreciate love,‘Tis those whom have suffered much loneliness whom truly appreciate comradeship.And for those of us whom have fought many silent battles that truly appreciate peace. Paul Watkiss 2020

‘Tis…….

Otherness

Just around the corner, just out of sight, lies the otherworlds.They’re always there of course, sometimes seemingly more so than others.None of our five senses can incorporate them however, it’s our sixth and intuitive one that touches on otherness.The slight movement in the dark shadows, the glimpse of a figure at the top of the […]

Otherness

Mental Health…..?

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”― J. Krishnamurti I love this quote❤️It’s quite simple in its sentiments but at the same time has far reaching implications when looked at in its broadest sense.Although I don’t feel society is profoundly sick in its worse sense, it seems […]

Mental Health…..?

Hearing the Bird Song….

It’s been awhile since I wrote anything. Mainly because I have found myself dragged along into the mechanistic world of working long hours in order bills and maintain a lifestyle that I no longer particularly want. On my days off I have lived a kind of burnt out existence of mainly resting ( in part due to my diagnosis of M.E. / CFS) and not even having the energy to enjoy anything.

The reason why I carry on is because I am married and have a young son, therefore as the main bread winner I feel this is my responsibility for the life choices I have made. However I must admit the lifestyle has ground me down and reduced my quality of life somewhat.

I am still an empathic, spiritual type guy though my connection to these essential elements has reduced due to the blunt forces that operate in such a nine to five environment.

I now have some time off and I can feel the weight of responsibility and working fall away leaving me to experience again the ascetic aspects of living. And also to again realise the simple beauty of being alive and in Nature.

The primeval, spontaneous birdsong emanating from the bushes. The gentle swaying of trees and foliage in the gentle summer breeze. The vast array of colours of the roses, blossoms, wallflowers and lilac. The lulling, comforting sound of insects as they busy themselves with the business of the day. The monochrome mountain like clouds moving slowly across the sky.

Life is so much of a gift with so much beauty to be witnessed yet it is so easy to forget. Wrapped up in our ever confounding thoughts, anxieties and automated responses we miss the outlandish reverent world in which we live.

After all we are as much a part of nature as a leaf, a buzzard, the rain and sunsets. There is no true separation only the one which we construct through our ego centric standpoint.

Otherness

Just around the corner, just out of sight, lies the otherworlds.
They’re always there of course, sometimes seemingly more so than others.
None of our five senses can incorporate them however, it’s our sixth and intuitive one that touches on otherness.
The slight movement in the dark shadows, the glimpse of a figure at the top of the stairs, knowing ancient eyes watching you in the forest and the brief catching of a long lost voice.
Our crude five senses try to rationalise but deep inside we know the truth.
For within our dreams we can become aware of the other realms that lurk not far.
Of monsters and magic, of dark and light, of graveyards and Edens, complementing and adding to our linear life experience.

It is the realm of dreams and visions, where the mythical land of supposed fantasy resides. Here be heroes and legendary beasts, kings, queens, knaves and coquettes.
All the masks that we may wear as we carouse life’s path.
In their persona’s we get a glimpse of ourselves and in themselves a glimpse of us. Mirrors reflecting mirrors, ever moving, ever evolving, swapping one role for another as befits our situation.The otherworlds simply reflect our human transience, our brief existence on the stage of life, playing many a scene in a variety of caricatures until the end of the play.
For at the end, for all the energy and gusto, the dust of the performance will settle and will become a fleeting memory amongst other fleeting memories layed down in the archetypal psyche of humanity.